Preamble by Joseph P. Sprinklehead
Editor’s note: We decided to run the following piece despite the boss man’s apparent issues with the journalistic integrity of the reporter.
I was about to tear into my fourth Killerdog, (chili, cheese, kraut, onion, pickle, ketchup and mustard) at Yesterdog last Saturday when the woman began her high-pitched lament. “Let me out I’m stuck in your pocket,” she pleaded in her cockney accent. “Let me out I’m stuck in your pocket,” she repeated. “Let me out I’m stuck in your pocket,” she wailed again as I was retrieving my phone from the pouch of my hoodie. I glanced at the caller ID, licked a smear of chili off my fingers and answered before she could begin her fifth plaintive plea for liberation.
“Whaaat's up, my man?” I asked.
“Just returning your call,” Steve replied in a tone I found a bit condescending.
I took a big bite of Killerdog and asked him what was going on at Siciliano's.
“I didn’t understand a word you said.”
“What’s-going-on-at-Siciliano's?” I slowly enunciated after taking a long slurp of diet Pepsi. “According to my sources it’s big.”
“I assume you’re referring to the new flooring,” Steve said after an extracted sigh. “Not like we’re trying to keep it a secret.”
I did my best to try to get Steve to spill the beans on the details of the project, i.e., the total cost, how long it will take, the color of the new carpet, etc., etc. But it was like pulling teeth. Truth be told, our relationship has been on the skids since I wrote an exposé about him for the now defunct Bottle Shop News a few years ago. (He claims I grossly distorted the facts; I stand by my reporting.)
The next day, after scoping out the parking lot to make sure the old man wasn’t around, I stopped by the store to see if I would have more luck with the staff. Sarah was deconstructing wine racks and I tried her first. “So, tell me what’s going on,” I said to her.
“La, la, la, la, la,” she replied.
Kati was moving cans and bottles of beer from one shelf to another and I tried her next. “So, tell me what’s going on?”
“A, I’m way too busy to talk, and B, there’s a gob of what looks like dried chili on your hoodie.”
Then I walked up to John who was boxing up half pints of liquor. “Will you please tell me what’s going on,” I pleaded.
“Every good boy does fine,” he said without looking up from his work.
So, there you have it. I’m thinking that the old man threatened them with bodily harm if they talked to me. According to an anonymous source, the project will be completed and things will be back to normal by early next week.
New and Returning Beer
Blackrocks Mykiss, $2.19/12oz - "We loaded this American IPA with Citra, Simcoe and Mosaic hops. The beer pops with a bright, punchy ... succulent hop profile. Medium bodied and well stocked at 7.5%, this IPA is a crowd pleaser" (source).
Brewery Vivant Contemplation, $3.79/16oz - "A favorite at our pub in Grand Rapids, this beer encompasses our farmhouse roots. Michigan-harvested honey and carefully selected Michigan-grown hops showcase Michigan’s agricultural heritage. The honey introduced to the boil contributes color and complexity but adds little sweetness to the beer as those sugars are consumed during fermentation. Look for whispers of apricot and nectarine on the palate, mixed in with the floral aroma of hops. This is a beer worth pondering upon each sip" (source).
Lagunitas Waldo's Special Ale, $2.29/12oz (6 per) - "In 1971, the Waldos met one afternoon at 4:20 in the front courtyard of their school near the statue of Louis Pasteur. They set out in a '66 Impala armed with a "treasure map" on a journey to find a secret garden near Point Reyes. They met there at the same time every day and continued their quest. They never found the secret garden....But they keep lookin'. The dankest and hoppiest beer ever brewed at Lagunitas was made with help of the Waldos for all treasure hunters" (source).
New Belgium Passion Fruit Kolsch, $1.79/12oz - "Passion Fruit Kölsch is a crushable, refreshing fruit-forward beer ready for fun in the sun" (source).
Revolution DDH Galaxy Hero, $2.99/12oz - "Galaxy Hero is brewed using a blend of 2-row, Amber and Aromatic malts to achieve a deep golden color and toasted malt character. Apollo and Centennial hops are used in the brewhouse for a clean punch of bitterness and citrus character. Now it is time to discuss the dry-hop step and it’s where things really get interesting! The true meaning of the “Double Dry-Hop” is not taking the normal dry-hop rate of Galaxy Hero up from 1 lb. to 2 lb. per Barrel. Nope. We up the rate to 5 lb. per Barrel to a total of 1,100 lbs. of Galaxy and Centennial adding the 1st half on Day#5 and the 2nd half on Day#6 of fermentation! So it’s really 4 times the amount of hop pellets added on 2 separate days. This massive infusion of hop material imparts distinctive aromas and flavors of tropical fruit, fresh cut herbs and grated citrus zest" (source).
Short's Treefer Madness, $2.09/12oz - "Treefer Madness is an American IPA first brewed in celebration of HopCat’s 4/20 Party. Dank aromas of pine, grapefruit, guava, and floral notes blend with a bready backbone. Slightly hazy and orange in color, this beer has a prominent white head. The flavors mirror the aroma with dank pine notes complemented by juicy citrus. Well balanced and medium bodied, Treefer Madness finishes dry" (source).
Video of the week | Dive Into Craft Beer
Find a full selection of Blackrocks beer at Siciliano's Market.